Name: Tyra Banks

Birthday: December 4, 1973

Hometown: Inglewood, California

Hates: Right and wrong. Who is to say who or what is right or wrong? Nobody.

Loves: Opinions. Nobody else’s. Just hers.

• She hates headbands. But she won’t stop wearing them. They accentuate her worst features: her huge forehead and the total lack of substance in her cranium.

• If you face her while in a conversation with her, sometimes you’ll hear a little echo while you’re talking. Do not be alarmed. It’s just the soundwaves of your voice bouncing back at you. There’s nothing wrong with you. And EVERYTHING wrong with her.

• You know how you can squint to make some people look prettier? Well, sometimes, if you squint at Tyra Banks, you might just see Naomi Campbell. Good luck!

• If your cat ever misbehaves and pees in your shoes or anything, you can lock it in your living room with an episode of The Tyra Banks Show playing. You won’t ever have a problem with your cat again. Or in some cases, your cat might never forgive you. And you’ll have to deal with the horrible, bloody, and gorey consequences.

• There is a unique phenomena reported in the villages deep in the wild forests of Ukraine. When a pregnant reindeer hears the voice of Tyra Banks, the calves that come out have dark red fur and theatrical latin music plays from nowhere when you make direct eye contact with them. Never ever, ever, ever look them in the eye. O_O