Name: Shakira

Birthday: February 2, 1977

Hometown: Barranquilla, Atlántico, Colombia

Real Hair Color: Not blonde, nor brown.

Carpet?: Pink.

• Shakira is a member of a secret organization. She would sing about it, but the first rule is that she can’t talk about it. And the second rule is that she can’t talk about it.

• Her “Whenever, Wherever” song was supposed to be her claim that although she can’t mention her secret society by name or even by purpose, she is willing to fight anyone whenever, wherever.

• Shakira is NOT her fucking khakis.

• Sometimes, when Shakira performs live, she hears the distant sound trannies fighting. That’s when she goes into action…

• While filming for her La Tortura video, she accidentally revealed her true voice. This might explain why dogs started barking across the city that evening.