Name: Ryan Phillippe

Birthday: September 10, 1974

Hometown: New Castle, Delaware

Current Mood: Happy

In reality, mood is: Deranged, mildly suicidal.

• The real cause of his divorce to Reese Witherspoon is not that her success outshone his own nor that he cheated on her. But he has a ridiculous habit of repeatedly calling his own cell phone from his other cell phone. Just to check his ever changing ring tone.

• The other real reason for their split was because of his everlasting not-so-platonic love for his imaginary friend, “Marta”.

• He loves Photoshop. His skills have vastly improved since he started cutting and pasting parts of other girls together to show what Marta looks like in his mind. Also, to add her to all of his favorite photos.

• Reese Witherspoon knew something was up. You know, especially when her kids calling her Marta after he told them he loves Marta and only Marta.

• He has seen and been given up on by exactly 50 psychiatrists.