Name: Robert Downey Jr.

Birthday: April 4, 1965

Hometown: New York City, NY

Stupid Shit He Doesn’t Remember, But I Do: Licked salt off a dead hooker’s ass.

What’s he up to now? Trying to remember 1998. Only his dealer knows.

• Hates it when other people are in the bathroom when he isn’t. During the filming of Ironman, He had his own deluxe bathroom to himself. This wasn’t because he is big huge star. It was because after all his drug binges, he has lost all control of his bowel movements.

• One time, a production assistant was in the bathroom and Robert Downey Jr. shit his pants.

• That production assistant is now banned from working in Hollywood. AND Bollywood.

• Has a tattoo of Kirstie Alley’s face on his right buttcheek. No one knows why.

• Has dabbled in Buddhism, Hinduism, Islam, Judaism, and Catholicism. But the only religion he can really follow with a straight face is that of Krispy Kremism.