Name: Reese Witherspoon

Birthday: March 22, 1976

Hometown: New Orleans, Louisiana

Downside to new diets: Skidmarks. Everywhere.

New weight: 90-120 lbs, depending on when her BM was.

• She likes her men to be pretty, which was why she didn’t fall for Joaquin Phoenix. But Jake Gyllenhaal’s way prettier. Maybe, even, too pretty… She’ll have to think this over.

• Hates all two syllable names beginning with M. Mandy Moore bears of all her rage.

• After “Walk the Line”, she release two country albums that wend gold! Didn’t hear about it? How strange…

• Has visited an anger management counselor because of her raging out at the sound of any cellphone ringtone.

• After her divorce, she went on an extreme diet of no carbs. Of course this was before it was reported that the brain needs carbs to function properly. She now has a wonderful new svelte figure but she might need a few more moments to answer any questions you might have.