Name: Maggie Gyllenhaal

Birthday: November 16, 1977

Hometown: New York, New York

Old Toy: Nipple clamps

New Toy: Baby

• She used to love baking cakes and eating bread. But now she can’t stand to look them. (Thanks Jake!)

• Only drinks tea but not the kind you and I drink, but tea made from the dried testicles of peacocks. Why? Who knows?

• After she saw an episode of Tales from the Crypt, she covers herself with Vaseline every night. Her husband should have told her it was too late.

• She doesn’t just breastfeed her baby, she makes sure the milk is fresh and aired out before giving it to her baby, therefore she ONLY breastfeeds in public, for maximum airage. (Yeah, I know, I just made that word up. But compared to breastfeeding in public, which would you say is worse?)

• After signing with Agent Provocateur, she got a whole mess of lingerie from them for free. And being the adventurous woman that she is, she tried each and every one of them. Those were happy days for her. Not for her husband, though.