Name: Hillary Clinton

Birthday: October 26, 1947

Hometown: Chicago, Illinois

Favorite Tea: Maple and Oak leaves. For sweet strength!

Favorite Jam: “The Bad Touch” by The Bloodhound Gang.

• For the first three months that Obama began to challenge her bid for the Democratic Party nomination for president, Hillary hated Obama with all her being. With every fiber in her sixty year old, 100% American body, she hated him. Then one of her aides explained that there was a typo in one of their memos. His name is not Barack Osama, but Barack Obama. Oops.

• Loves curling. Not her biceps, but that most Canadian of sports. She gave it up though, to be the best presidential candidate she can be. But secretly, at night, she still practices in her private study.

• That’s how she got that impressive upper body to fill out her suit. She doesn’t need shoulder pads.

• She had horrible stage fright but after she consulted with the high priestess , she started carrying around a pocketful of dried sage leaves.

• That’s how she got the nickname “The Rustling Rodham”.