Name: Chris Martin

Birthday: March 2, 1977

Hometown: Exeter, Devon, England

Fruit he most resembles: Shepherd’s Pie

Top Ingredient in his Smoothies: Rocks and Crabgrass

• Hates his daughter’s name. Just so he’ll never have to call her Apple, he nicknamed her Al Bundy.

• He loooves blonde women with fat voices. ::Eyes Gwyneth Paltrow::

• Will never go solo, because without the balancing power of the Coldplay band, his music and lyrics would suck hard on hairy giraffe balls.

• Loves to jump on trampolines. But now with his daughter around, he sold his trampoline because Paltrow said so. And bought a stepper. Whatever, stupid Americans… What does she know anyway?

• He misses his trampoline. He even named it. Lola.