Name: Barack Obama

Birthday: August 4, 1961

Hometown: Honolulu, Hawaii

Loves: America.

Hates: John McCain.

• Not only is Barack Obama a believer in change, he’s obsessed with change. In fact, the reason why he doesn’t wear a flag pin isn’t because he doesn’t want to wear one, but because he goes through about seven different “power suits” each day. Out with the old, in with the new.

• Obama wants to prove to America that he’s not only better than Hillary Clinton, but that he’s also better than Bill. So, to one-up Bill Clinton’s most famous Presidential act, rather than finding some fugly intern, he has slept with every single member of the “Obama Girls.”

• He can only bowl a 47, but Barack Obama is actually the guy who taught Tiger Woods how to play golf. He was also the one to give him that nickname, due to the fact that instead of golf clubs, Barack plays golf using a custom set of live white bengal tigers. This is also why he never played a PGA tour.

• Not only is Obama part Muslim, he’s 2/15 Buddlist, 5/15 Hindi, 3/17 Catholic, 2/12, Jewish, 5/10 Protestant, and 3/20 Zoroastrian.

• Political pundits theorize that Barack Obama’s biggest asset is that he’s the best looking presidential candidate in over 40 years. Many are hoping that with Obama as the face of the United States, foreign relations with improve. Especially nations with female leaders. According to the Washington Post, “Bad news doesn’t hurt as much coming out of something pretty.”