Name: Ashlee Simpson

Birthday: October 3, 1984

Hometown: Dallas, Texas

Lucky Item: Silver Jockstrap from her first boyfriend. (Not so silver anymore…)

Craziest (Stupidest) Dare: Drank the toilet water with her dog.

• Loves to play hacky sack. Has an electronic knee built in to automate movements. She has since been disqualified from all hacky sack competitions.

• Pete Wentz is gay. It makes her cry at night.

• People look at her funny all the time and she’s not sure if its her new nose or hair color. She doesn’t mind because that doesn’t compare to how her father looks at her, if she doesn’t do as she’s told.

• Loves to shop for handbags all the time. But her favorite place to shop is on the black market. Where else can she get the latest cured horse penis bags?

• Why didn’t she give up when she realized she’ll never have huge bazongas like her sister? Because she was sure that she was at most twice as smart as Jessica. …And she was sure modern cosmetic medicine will enhance her own freakish features.