Name: Anne Hathaway

Birthday: November 12, 1982

Hometown: Brooklyn, New York

Dish: Portuguese man-of-war omelettes.

Drapes?: Gorilla Skin.

• Has always had a crush on Steve Carell ever since she saw The 40-Year-Old Virgin.

• What she failed to realize is that Bea Arthur had long ago taken his maidenhead. With one gulp.

• Anne fancies herself the next Marilyn Monroe, even if she’s not a blonde. Oftentimes she would walk over subway vents with a frilly dress in Manhattan.

• Also, oftentimes, policemen will follow her around and give her pieces of paper saying how indecent it is of her to be so hot!

• Of course, she paid those very nice officers. It must be difficult standing next to her brilliance.