Name: Angelina Jolie

Birthday: June 4, 1975

Hometown: Los Angeles, California

Virtue: Her Adoptions

Ambition: To be like Mother Teresa, but comes off as a Jane Goodall

• In an attempt to help the world, Angelina decided to go on a hunger strike to protest poverty and the unequal distribution of the wealth in the world. This starts a wave of anorexia across the United States. She later receives a 31 million dollar endorsement contract from Jenny Craig.

• Angelia was a quite a pudgy child. Although she was teased and ridiculed by her classmates. Her mother reassured her that at least there will be liposuction if dieting fails. Sshe didn’t grasp what liposuction was, but she exclaimed then and there that when she grows up she’s “will buy all the liposuction.” Years later, she did.

• Has a bag of oats and a jar of honey with her all the time. In case she bumps into a horse. She LOVES horses.

• Used to be a crystal meth addict. Oops! That was Fergie. Angelina was never on any drugs unless you count life. Yeah, she gets high on that stuff. Why else does she adopt so many kids?

• Sometimes she likes to sneak out to the local strip club with rolls of quarters. She hides at the edge of the stage and throws quarters at the strippers.